Flight Manual for Dummies

At long last I can again post. For the past weeks I have not been able to post anything that all my writing inspirations have been redirected to another means of expression... eating and sleeping right after. Good thing i have not suffered from pancreatitis during my sleep that could eventually lead to my death. This has been one of my bad habits ever since... my body would never fail me anyway so i know i can still have a complete meal and then sleep without any worries of not waking up (Thanks to my mom's midnight snacking training circa 1985-present).

Blogger sent me an email last April about my blog being a spam and me being a "bot" that I have to reply to their email in 2 weeks time. Unfortunately, they sent it to the address (flightmanual@yahoo.com) I created specially for this blog which i don't usually check. I get to read their message when it was already past the time frame they have asked me to reply. The end result, my blog almost being deleted. Good thing, my special "gut-feel" skill saved the day and this blog.

If I'm a superhero, i think this would be my super power. I always follow what my inner voice tells me.. and it's always correct especially in critical decision making or when skeptic about a situation, friend or a person (which most the time taken wrongly by the person concerned or the friend the person concerned). It tells me if I'm going to have a bad day, a bad flight or a layover. I get to prepare myself for whatever it is that might happen and accept them as they come if i cannot avert it from happening.

I wonder sometimes if this is a remnant of my "women's intuition" from my past life since I'm still in the process of perfection as i evolve in each reincarnation or perhaps an in-born asset because I'm Piscean. Maybe both that's why it's so pure that whenever something bad is going to happen, my inner voice tells me so, or if it's really worst they talk to me in my dreams in symbolic mediums (thanks to National Bookstore for all the Dream Books and since I came to Doha-Google for the concrete and well-expounded explanations). I may talk nonsense but I've proven it to myself and a few of my close friends know about this. I don't get to see things voluntarily, I'm not a crystal ball or a tarot card reader, my special skill is always about me so don't bother ask for help. It's like Spider-man and his Spider sense.

Craziness... but I believe we all have this but sometimes we try not to acknowledge the fact that we do. At the end, we often say, "I had this gut feeling already but i still went on doing it..."

Anyway, my last flight I was in the "wondering" mood. All these stuff in my head was full of idiotic ideas that if it did happen.. how will the world around me be like?

• What if like the arabs or indians our culture dictates us to wear our national costumes everyday? Well I don't mind really if it was Barong Tagalog or Baro't Saya terno... But what if instead of those, the guys have to wear bahags everyday and the ladies the traditional Ifugao costume including the palayok.. take note 5 palayok (clay pots) of different sizes? Carry?

• Will 1 USD equal 65Php? Will all the OFW be able to regain all the money they lost in their savings? and will the prices of things in the Philippines ever get low? What if 1 USD equals 1Php? Gosh then i don't need to work abroad!

• What if they have not invented the internet? Will Long Distance Relationships still work? will it still be ok to be far from your loved ones? No YM, No Skype, No Chikka, No Friendster, No emails.

• If I'm Gretchen Barretto, I would make an album also and dedicate all my songs, especially the carrier single a remake of Jaya's Wala na Bang Pag-ibig? REMIX (Where's the Love? not the literal translation) to my frenemy. Sing it Live everytime i promote it with matching tears and walk-out ala Shawie (Remember The Sharon Cuneta Show finale songs when she and Gabby broke up?).

• If I'm frenemy, I will buy all the album of Gretchen Barretto with the carrier single a remake of Jaya's Wala na Bang Pag-ibig? REMIX (Is There No Love Anymore? literal translation), give it to my friends and officemates. Surprise Gretchen as a guest in her mall tours and sing the song duet! Then book an exclusive interview with YES! Magazine and earn from the royalties of the interview.

• If I'm frenemy, I would already write to Maalala Mo Kaya? (Will You Remember?) about our story with the title "UGAT" (root).

• If I'm Marian Rivera magtataray din talaga ako kasi may K ako. (If I'm Marian Rivera I will also do what she did coz I have the right to bitch.) click me! click me!
  

• What if I was straight? Will it suit me?
• What if I was straight? chickboy kaya ako? hehehe (will I be a philandering jerk? hehehe)
• What if i was a lesbian? YUCK erase erase.. ERASE!!! I can't eat.... *cringes*

• What if I pursued studying Medicine after my Pre-Med.. I'll be known as Yuri R. Marqueses MD. taray!

• I do find myself having my Sunday brunch in Paris, a full course meal by the Dead Sea in Jordan. Afternoon tea in London and perhaps dinner over-looking the stars in Rome. All of which done at 40,000 feet, by the galley counter.... standing and usually timed for no more than 20 minutes. well anyway you can eat as much as you like for as long as the pax are done and all are in peace.
  

• Wanted to tell him that yes we take compliments and we smile but also we take complaints with a hard blow - not to mention the blinding spits of saliva molecules that gets to your eyes at times, the annoying hand gestures and bb (go figure). I'm amazed how much i become oh so graceful handling such. Lucky you can hung-up, make faces and mute the conversation while the disgruntled customer talks incessantly by the phone.

• I had manners long before flying but i learned more after collecting dirty trays and place them back neatly inside the carts. after cleaning the pee soaked lavatories and after taking and gashing other people's trash. You need not be rich and experienced or sent to a training school to learn common courtesy, to be polite and to be thankful for the little people who makes your life easier. (the slave treated with no tip waiters who makes several trips and suffers because of your indecisiveness, the bathroom attendants who cleans up your mess after throwing up and the yelled-out maid who fixes your flat).

• We don't work a 9 to 5 sched yet we fly to different time zones. it's more lethargic trying to adjust your sleeping habits always (the operational word) when you my friend on the other hand choose not to sleep.
  

• the glamour of independence, and the ugly face of dying alone. The life you so ever wanted but when reality sinks in, it's not what you really expected. the parties, the interesting characters you meet. you make a scheduled rendezvous then you check-in to the most posh hotel, change to your best cocktail dress, reserve a seat on the finest resto and yet suddenly you are all by yourself, sitting alone on a strange place where no one understands you at all.

note: Yuri is going to Manila from the 16th til the 30th of March. this also serves as an invitation for my birthday party. contact me for details.

i guess nobody wants to die alone but believe me it happens everyday. may not be the physical state of dying but we die once in a while inside. we feel naked, molested and gruesomely violated - and just like what doctors do to a cadaver, they call out the time indifferently and walk out amorally.

how would it actually feel like dying alone?

is it the same when you try to clean your flat the whole day and nobody even cares to ask if you’re ok? while you were busy scrubbing the floor, the other room was moaning to the highest level. you don’t mind actually but how you wish scrubbing the floor would give you that same orgasmic pleasure that was in competition with your already loud music.

is it the same when you go to the grocery one fine day and nothing in your list is there? like you don’t know if there was panic buying of some sort that had happened an hour earlier in preparation for two consecutive foggy evenings or a blinding sandstorm. i wouldn’t mind stocking up too but i think it’s fair if there would post a bulletin about it. going to the grocery and back to your flat is already very very costly - that’s why you dont want to go empty handed.

is it the same every payday? that very sudden rush of blood going to your head due to euphoria as soon as your mobile alerts you of your salary and then an epileptic seizure after budgeting it and your left with actually none.

is it the same when you awkwardly meet your “pambansang frenemy” (national friend-enemy) and you act so casual with the usual beso here and there, invite her to the table and she joins blah blah, hola chika to the max, trying to maintain a very cheery voice and that plastered smile and sparkly eyes as not to show a hint of “plasticity” when what you really want to do is bang her head to the wall until it bleeds dry or better yet pull her tongue, tie it in a knot and cut her tonsils. this is far worse than dying alone. this is dying alone plus suicide note… plus actual suicide.

is the same when you cook a hearty me for you and your friends. go to a flight and when you get home, not even a rice was spared by your thoughtless pals as you starve to death? sorry wouldn’t suffice. you need your share of caldereta (beef stew) since you COOKED it and PRACTICALLY went to 5 different grocery stores to complete the ingredients and the last 2 stores by foot SINCE you have no more moolah left for taxi SINCE that’s what’s only left from your well budgeted salary? whew! what a life!

is it the same when you text someone and he didnt bother replying and will tell you all this stupid reasons why and yet you forgive and understand him?

is it the same when you missed the bus for pick-up when you are actually down on the dot. not to mention it’s 5 am in the morning?

is it the same when the only crew meal left for you is an Asian Vegetarian Meal and you didnt eat anything prior since you got up early and prepared very swiftly for your morning flight as not to miss your transport but the bus left you.

is it the same when after you just cleaned the lavatories, with the tissues folded v-shaped, the floor sanitized, the area carefully lemon-scented then someone so careless flooded it after using AND THEN suddenly your supervisor came blasting you with these sermons you don’t deserve just because he/she wasn’t there there when it was oh so sparkling?

is the same when your ex tells you i have found someone better and the “better” half is your bestfriend? or is it that your other “better-half” after your ex is still having difficulty finding his/her way to you? either way stings. pop it out like a balloon and make sure your bestfriend now your “ex”bestfriend by present tense.

is it the same when you have a very nice looooooong layover but you have a wicked set of crew? (AW!)

is it the same when you have a very nice looooooong layover but they lost your suitcase? (tumbling!)

is it the same when you have a very nice looooooong layover but you forgot to bring your wallet? (cartwheel!)

is it the same when you have a very nice looooooong layover but they have taken you off the flight? (morphine please)

is it the same when you have a very nice looooooong layover and very posh hotel room with a fantastic view of the city yet you have noone to share it with? awww.

is it the same feeling when FRIENDS was finally over and your were disappointed to hear that the spin off JOEY sucked bigtime?

is the same thinking why that bitch Meredith has both McDreamy and McVet and all you’ve got is McNuggets? i officially hate her now and ever more after watching season 3. i hate her! I HATE HER!!! to the bone.

Mars and pars im vaaaack! gosh it has been a year (well almost) and honestly i miss blogging. i just didn’t have the time and the same leisure. i would rather sleep my worries away than go on my usual word vomit. i am never a fan of negativity and ranting although at times i do indulge (it’s healthy if you do it with the right person), but last year (pause)… last year was too much…(deep breathing) TOO damn MUCH!!! (patting my teary eyes, hoarse voice) that if do the typing (pause) while sharing my inner most anger (im ok.. im ok), my keyboard will explode to pieces (screaming!!!) if not i would not be able to type since the pressure i put on every letter would bury them to the core of my laptop’s circuit board. (deep breathing again) either of the two (pause). now close your eyes and visualize how it would’ve been (in a now more relaxed and composed tone). also i don’t believe in CHARACTER assassination (sarcasm kills). they know me. and people know u. whoever you are. try this exercise called recollection.. you’ll realize there’s a pattern. now you think it’s our fault? nuf said (fiendish smile).

Hello and welcome back to me again! i do sincerely apologize for that. it’s so “white chicks”. my bitch fit. my “i am sooooofreeeakin’ piss” moment.

Things like this happening in my life make me appreciate the people that still are with me and my sister (most especially). Sometimes i think i don’t deserve such but that Guy up there… He loves us all, that He made sure there would always be a balance in the force (very stars wars).

Chise is the most likable person i have ever met. it gets to me at times and it makes me cringe. my friends love her more than me. they do go out with her even without me. she has this childish persona that charms everyone. Chise is ever so thoughtful.. ever so giving. very naive. i hate it. i really hate it. i’m the exact opposite. i don’t usually express myself. i do sometimes shut people down. i am very selfish and i’m easily distracted by her shameless display of “niceness”. im the typical older brother who is always right. and most of the time i don’t like my sister, most of the time i correct her. How can one person be nice and yet not be appreciated by her own sibling? simple mathematical equation. unlike yor friends, u get to choose who you wanna be with. but in case of family, you don’t get to choose. you’re stuck with them whether you like it or not.

In so many aspects of our life, we are astonishingly confused by these choices… most of the time we take those that we like and shove those that we don’t. We whine if we don’t get what we want and brag if we do. we excel, we fail, we laugh and we cry over these choices… most of which are temporary. but through all these, your unchosen family is always with you all the way. even if you don’t really need them.

But honestly, i know i’m lucky coz i have chise. she can be anyone’s friend but she can only be a sister to me. and i do love her and hate her at the same time. we had that kind of relationship eversince. we’re only 2 years apart. from bullying her to give me her extra baon (allowance), to cutting off the telephone line whenever she uses it etc etc. Among the 3 of us, she always has to make the sacrifice for the other to succeed. She remained selfless… no questions asked.

Eversince, she is adored by all. she means no harm. she sticks with her friends… especially in moments where they need her most. .. especially when they are all alone… hapless and trying to survive.

i told you i don’t believe in character assassination. for as long as people know who you are, and how you have been with them, how well you’ve treated them; no matter what the other says, it will all bounce back and reflect on how filthy and disgusting they truly are.

thank you chise. i do appreciate you ALOT.

Meet my alter-ego




Have you ever woken up one Saturday morning staring blankly at your breakfast, pre-occupied with what you will be wearing in the club later that night or whether where your sweetie’s gonna take you for that must have weekend date. Life was very simple then. I used to love Saturdays when I was a kid (now my only fave day are the days I’m off in my roster). Saturday is the only day in the week that I don’t mind waking up early in the morning (yeah, yeah I’m definitely, DEFINITELY not a morning person up until now) as not to miss my favorite cartoons on TV.

I was in retro-mood two weekends back and started surfing youtube and the net. And I found her… my long lost alter-ego… long before I discovered Darna and the Giants, long before I loss my innocence totally, long long long before… I was Adora… I was She-Ra, Princess of Power, defender of the Crystal Castle, the fabulous leader of the rebellion of Etheria, He-man’s twin sister.

She started my fixation to super heroines until now. While my other cousins are trying to bulk like He-man thanks to Milo and/or Ovaltine and fantasizing She-ra with her tight bustier and very skimpy skirt; I was busy glamming up like She-ra with her to die for tiara and fantasizing He-man’s pecs, abs and bi-ceps and how he flexes them ever so often. Hehehe… Mommies watch out for your kiddos. Can you just imagine me with my Curling Iron sword chanting.. “For the Honor of Gay-skull I am She-man!!! (Insert swirling glitter and butterflies) (Insert Back-up Singers: “She-man! She-man! Tententententen… She-man”) Defender ng mga baklush (defender of gays)! Princess of the Grotesque Pasay City Hall! Rebel without a cause! I think Joey de Leon has done this already.



It’s such a treasure finding those things that remind you of your tender years. It’s practically more destressing than any bubble bath that I do. That reminiscent laughter deep down is priceless. Add that to my Christmas wish list, a complete 80’s DVD Cartoon set.







Your Song: No more Heartache Vina

Tracks included:
All Cried Out - Allure feat. 112
Only Love - The Braxtons
You are the Universe - Brand New Heavies
Irreplaceable - Beyonce Knowles
Ugly Girl - Fleming and John
I'm not Missing You - Stacie Orrico
Goodbye Heartbreak - Lighthouse Family

To my dearest soul-sister Vina;
Don’t really know what’s going on, I don’t really have a clue. To cheer you up, I thought of these songs especially for you and to all the men we ever loved before. Let them be… let them burn in hell!





2006, Goodbye, So Long, Farewell my Friend-s



It all started with Bob, Imee then Diane, after which came Nat and Luvee. Now before the year ends and before I leave for Manila, another friend, ever so close to my heart is leaving Doha for good.

I first met Samantha in the corridors of my first accommodation. Her very warm smile immediately opened up the bridge to our friendship. Since my birthday was 3 days after we arrived in Doha last March 13, 2004; whatbetter way to get everybody acquainted but to have my first party in this desert paradise (?). She brought me her first oatmeal cookies with a bumble bee pin. Since then, we’ve been so tight and even considered her as my PX-bessie (PX- Filipino slang for imported goods).

Sam, I hope you will not miss my high-cholesterol deep-fried chicken skin that is to blame whenever your skin breaks out. But for sure, I’ll miss the high-blood pressure you give me whenever we really get the chance to TALK. Thanks Sam, for all those lovely memories that made my first days here in Doha really fun. Someday soon, may not be in Shanghai or in Singapore or wherever, but for sure I’ll catch you and will never ever make you wait for me to groom myself again.

Good friends are worth keeping even if distance would be a factor. Love you Sam! All the Luck and Happiness finally… Though it breaks my heart, though you’ve all left me (which is so unfair), it’s time to let go of you… all of you.






Adios Mi Amor
My ode, 3 years in the making, finally it’s done… finally his chapter ends. Finally I’m free.

16th July 2004
A Letter for Charlie

Got up in the morning with the thought of you
A remainder from the dream I had
Tears suddenly flow in my eyes
As I felt emptiness inside

The joy I had while sleeping
Turned into a depressing realization
That you are now… GONE.

Everyday I try not to think of you
Of what happened
Of what we have become

Regrets I have,
Haunting me like a ghost in the night

I welcome the day with a smile
Hiding what I really feel inside
Sometimes I fool myself by hating you
But I end up loathing me more.
Everytime the phone rings,
There’s always a hope that it’s you calling.
More often , I end up with someone
To whom I feed on what they’re feeling on the same ground as me.

Never thought I would feel this way
I was ready but still caght with no defense

Honestly, I know this day would come,
From what happened before
I wish for you to suffer
But why do I suffer more?

Maybe because I love you
And I’m trying hard not to

The pain is indescribable… stressing
Especially now that it’s all coming back to me

I feed on you
I take you as my nourishment
I take refuge from the past

Sadly, I have to begin again with no clue where to start
Another day commencing with my prayed hope.
At the end of it, my awaited rendezvous with you as I slumber.
Kiss you tenderly, hug you and never let go.
Be with you even for just a little while.

------------------------------------------------------------

17th July 2006
ME that I Hate
YOU That I Used to Love

On my way out
You asked me not to go

I didn’t look back
Instead, I walked away and slammed the door.

Not even a single hint of remorse
Can be seen in my tear-soaked face.
Lost myself in a cave of despair
My only weapon are match sticks flare
Now the bright light outside
Paved my way to soar across the tides.


No time now will ever be wasted on you
On thoughts of anger
On memories good while they lasted

Shame on you for pushing me away
For always treating me this way
For hurting me and numbing me from pain

Shame on me for believing you
For kissing you and hugging you
For ever missing you so much.

Shame on me for the recurring thoughts of you
For writing this because of you
And most of all for loving you too much.

Manila, Manila I’m Coming home

So when is the big date?
27^th of December 2006! 4 days until we re-open the year with a big bang!

So what’s the deal?
I dunno yet. I have so much in my head that I can’t plan anything. Perhaps, the usual trip to Tagaytay - my refuge in the city, shopping and Grocery galore, Jollibee, Pork and Beans, Pandesal Pork Adobo, Pork sinigang, Pork Barbeque, Pork Sisig, Crispy Pata, Liempo etc. etc… OMG… I don't mind pigging out for 2 weeks as in literally "pigging" out. See you all then!