Chapter 1 - Take Off

Never have I imagined that this would be the job for me. I guess I was mistaken. It's not a secret how we were before I left. We are still slowly climbing back up but I guess we are far better off. Though sacrifices had to be made. I had to go.. and I had to let go and be broken for the first time. He pushed me to be here. He was perhaps the reason why I'm here because he promised that he would come follow as soon as he can. But it didn't happen. It did not happen.
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Break It Down Y'all!

I know sometimes it is very difficult to express how you are feeling. We cannot decipher those emotions that incessantly swirl in our heads and take over our whole being. We are protracted to shallow restlessness and anxiety that instead of coming to our own reverie, we misinterpret it as chronic self-inflicted depression. I'm guilty of this. Especially if im so into the book that i'm reading, so emphatic to the feelings of the character in the mushy-trashy movie that i am watching, or (presently...) the song or songs i heard that's now on repeat mode in my mind.

Allow me to curl up and slowly sink to my own little world, my fantasies with (take note) it's own soundtrack. let these lines speak for me and i hope somehow it would come across.
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Passenger Seat


I was haplessly scrolling through my playIist and I chance upon this song by Stephen Speaks. Creepy but it was very timely. I went to a reminscent trance once more and thought of those times when my partner and I would drive around the city or out of town. How I miss sitting on that seat that on 2 occassions lately, I almost cried myself due to envy.

One was when I went out with my flatmate and his brother shopping. He was picked up by his beau and both of us were at back watching the exchange of sweet nothings and nauseating flirtings. It was torture that at some point, in my mind, I wanted to chop both their heads off. I used to have this. I used to be seated right next to him and do crazy stuff. I used to be there changing the radio channels or cd's. I used to sleep there soundly while he drives and asks for directions. I used to be there holding his hand or leg as he cruise the highways. I used to be there to honk his horn when someone was overtaking us. I used to have arguments there with him. I used to be there when he would touch my ear and hair and then we would look at each other with loving affirmation. I used to be the one who he would reach and kiss before he starts the engine or before i step off the car. i used to be... i used to be... and that's the operational term. I USED TO BE...

The other was when i was walking towards the car of my friend and the lover with a grimace was there and showed me the backseat (bitch!) I just smiled wryly and felt embarassed and disconcerted by the gesture. like hello? why the hell do you have to do that? Not unless he sees me as threat which I know I can be if i choOoe to be. You don't have to press it on my face and mark your territory cause I'm not the snake you're supposed to be scared of, Your snake is YOUR insecurities and anytime it would just kill you with its venom.

From the later, during the entire trip, i was only staring blankly by the window trying to block all the negative elements around and tried to enjoy the ride. Whoever it will be the next time, I wish that I'll feel the same high again. That seat may not mean to anyone, but it does defines commitment to me. So from the last time til now, I choose not to sit there til I find the right guy to be ever driver, sweet lover.

A Lot Like Love

Note: Again long hiatus... what can say busy, busy busy! anyway New Year, New
Post. here you go. Enjoy!

Finally after 3 years, I had now seen the ending of this movie. I felt like moving along with its core plot - the frustratingly constant cat and mouse chase for your happy ending. To refresh y'all A Lot Like Love is the story of Oliver (Ashton Kutcher) and Emily (Amanda Peet) who had a brief "encounter" on their flight from LAX to JFK but as soon as the plane landed so did their rendezvous. Over a period of time, they keep on meeting each other- first as acquaintances, becoming good friends and finally developing an intimate feeling to one another to which most of the time they have to repress as either one of them is working at the other end of the state or is happily dating someone. It's more of like Barry Manilow's Somewhere Down the Road Song.. "We had the right love at the wrong time..." Aren't we all suckers for happy ending? and this movie just gave us that when when the shoe finally fits, when they realize that they are really meant for each other after all. The *kilig* (mushy) moment for me was when Oliver went to look for Amanda and sang her this song.

"I'll Be There For You"

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

OMG, i just melted and wanted Ashton for myself. hahahahaha now i know this would be on my wedding song playlist. hahaha i wish! hahahaha (Calling all the MEN out there.. pls sing me this song too... )

I just can't help but say that I'm practically LIVING the movie. all the elements like the airports, the constant travelling, the serendipitous meeting of probably "the one", my oblivious nature that is often times misinterpreted as being nonchalant well in fact I'm more sensitive than they think, the aching distance, the improper timings, the take offs and landings. I know i have to emancipate myself from dreaming. wake up ja! :P

Im just so sad sometimes, that whenever i meet a great guy, it's either one of these recurring themes happen:

1. He lives in a country where i don't get rostered that often.
2. He's attached or still dwelling on someone else's shadow.
3. He's utterly sexually pathetic.
4. He's turns out to be an insensitive, self-absorbed idiot
5. He's older than my parents.

May 2009 be my year.. awwwww... Someday I know my prince will be there and You'll ALL be very jealous of me hahahaha.... bwahahahaha *evil laughter* (NOT!)

What If's Activate!

Disclaimer: This blog means no offense to anyone.

blog test....




At long last I can again post. For the past weeks I have not been able to post anything that all my writing inspirations have been redirected to another means of expression... eating and sleeping right after. Good thing i have not suffered from pancreatitis during my sleep that could eventually lead to my death. This has been one of my bad habits ever since... my body would never fail me anyway so i know i can still have a complete meal and then sleep without any worries of not waking up (Thanks to my mom's midnight snacking training circa 1985-present).

Blogger sent me an email last April about my blog being a spam and me being a "bot" that I have to reply to their email in 2 weeks time. Unfortunately, they sent it to the address ( I created specially for this blog which i don't usually check. I get to read their message when it was already past the time frame they have asked me to reply. The end result, my blog almost being deleted. Good thing, my special "gut-feel" skill saved the day and this blog.

If I'm a superhero, i think this would be my super power. I always follow what my inner voice tells me.. and it's always correct especially in critical decision making or when skeptic about a situation, friend or a person (which most the time taken wrongly by the person concerned or the friend the person concerned). It tells me if I'm going to have a bad day, a bad flight or a layover. I get to prepare myself for whatever it is that might happen and accept them as they come if i cannot avert it from happening.

I wonder sometimes if this is a remnant of my "women's intuition" from my past life since I'm still in the process of perfection as i evolve in each reincarnation or perhaps an in-born asset because I'm Piscean. Maybe both that's why it's so pure that whenever something bad is going to happen, my inner voice tells me so, or if it's really worst they talk to me in my dreams in symbolic mediums (thanks to National Bookstore for all the Dream Books and since I came to Doha-Google for the concrete and well-expounded explanations). I may talk nonsense but I've proven it to myself and a few of my close friends know about this. I don't get to see things voluntarily, I'm not a crystal ball or a tarot card reader, my special skill is always about me so don't bother ask for help. It's like Spider-man and his Spider sense.

Craziness... but I believe we all have this but sometimes we try not to acknowledge the fact that we do. At the end, we often say, "I had this gut feeling already but i still went on doing it..."

Anyway, my last flight I was in the "wondering" mood. All these stuff in my head was full of idiotic ideas that if it did happen.. how will the world around me be like?
  • What if like the arabs or indians our culture dictates us to wear our national costumes everyday? Well I don't mind really if it was Barong Tagalog or Baro't Saya terno... But what if instead of those, the guys have to wear bahags everyday and the ladies the traditional Ifugao costume including the palayok.. take note 5 palayok (clay pots) of different sizes? Carry?

  • Will 1 USD equal 65Php? Will all the OFW be able to regain all the money they lost in their savings? and will the prices of things in the Philippines ever get low? What if 1 USD equals 1Php? Gosh then i don't need to work abroad!
  • What if they have not invented the internet? Will Long Distance Relationships still work? will it still be ok to be far from your loved ones? No YM, No Skype, No Chikka, No Friendster, No emails.

ILUSYONADA FACTS: Gretchen was born March 17, Yuri was born March 16. Both are the eldest among their respective siblings. Smart, Graceful, Very Elegant, Controversial, Equally talented and this year's Pantene's Most Beautiful. Yun Na! Connect di ba?
  • If I'm Gretchen Barretto, I would make an album also and dedicate all my songs, especially the carrier single a remake of Jaya's Wala na Bang Pag-ibig? REMIX (Where's the Love? not the literal translation) to my frenemy. Sing it Live everytime i promote it with matching tears and walk-out ala Shawie (Remember The Sharon Cuneta Show finale songs when she and Gabby broke up?).
  • If I'm frenemy, I will buy all the album of Gretchen Barretto with the carrier single a remake of Jaya's Wala na Bang Pag-ibig? REMIX (Is There No Love Anymore? literal translation), give it to my friends and officemates. Surprise Gretchen as a guest in her mall tours and sing the song duet! Then book an exclusive interview with YES! Magazine and earn from the royalties of the interview.
  • If I'm frenemy, I would already write to Maalala Mo Kaya? (Will You Remember?) about our story with the title "UGAT" (root).
  • If I'm Marian Rivera magtataray din talaga ako kasi may K ako. (If I'm Marian Rivera I will also do what she did coz I have the right to bitch.) click me! click me!
  • What if I was straight? Will it suit me?
  • What if I was straight? chickboy kaya ako? hehehe (will I be a philandering jerk? hehehe)
  • What if i was a lesbian? YUCK erase erase.. ERASE!!! I can't eat.... *cringes*
  • What if I pursued studying Medicine after my Pre-Med.. I'll be known as Yuri R. Marqueses MD. taray!

What if this blog was actually deleted? would anyone miss it? hehehe...

Igorot Festival Dance Pic c/o Mr. Rizaldy Comanda via Flickr Thank you!
Gretchen's Pic c/o Pantene. Thank you!


Where is the Patis?

Earlier this evening i was cooking "sinigang na baboy" (pork in tamarind-soured stew). I always have this peculiar cravings for sweets whenever i'm sick but notably this time i wanted to have tom yam.. the closest i can get to tom yam was sinigang na baboy (great difference since tom yam is like forever with seafood and i'm allergic to all those crustaceans swimming deliciously on a spicy tangy soup.) I just realized that i have cooked this delightful original filipino recipe inside my hotel room for the past 4 years n different layovers. I have already devised a way of cooking it from the the usual since you cannot do so much in a small pot and a moderated cooker temperature. now it's perfect but it's due for consumption tomorrow lunch. good thing i brought my miniature patis (fish sauce) from my last Bangkok flight and my sinigang mix. it's like i already knew i was going to crave sinigang for some strange reason..

Anyhow, a friend recently told me that compared to his simple life, mine is so extravagant. I do agree on that yes in some aspect.

  • I do find myself having my Sunday brunch in Paris, a full course meal by the Dead Sea in Jordan. Afternoon tea in London and perhaps dinner over-looking the stars in Rome. All of which done at 40,000 feet, by the galley counter.... standing and usually timed for no more than 20 minutes. well anyway you can eat as much as you like for as long as the pax are done and all are in peace.

  • Wanted to tell him that yes we take compliments and we smile but also we take complaints with a hard blow - not to mention the blinding spits of saliva molecules that gets to your eyes at times, the annoying hand gestures and bb (go figure). I'm amazed how much i become oh so graceful handling such. Lucky you can hung-up, make faces and mute the conversation while the disgruntled customer talks incessantly by the phone.

  • I had manners long before flying but i learned more after collecting dirty trays and place them back neatly inside the carts. after cleaning the pee soaked lavatories and after taking and gashing other people's trash. You need not be rich and experienced or sent to a training school to learn common courtesy, to be polite and to be thankful for the little people who makes your life easier. (the slave treated with no tip waiters who makes several trips and suffers because of your indecisiveness, the bathroom attendants who cleans up your mess after throwing up and the yelled-out maid who fixes your flat).

  • We don't work a 9 to 5 sched yet we fly to different time zones. it's more lethargic trying to adjust your sleeping habits always (the operational word) when you my friend on the other hand choose not to sleep.

  • the glamour of independence, and the ugly face of dying alone. The life you so ever wanted but when reality sinks in, it's not what you really expected. the parties, the interesting characters you meet. you make a scheduled rendezvous then you check-in to the most posh hotel, change to your best cocktail dress, reserve a seat on the finest resto and yet suddenly you are all by yourself, sitting alone on a strange place where no one understands you at all.

Flying is a job like any other that requires great skill and character. it's not all "welcome on board, hi! hello! buh-bye" and voila i'm in whichever place on earth. My life as a flight attendant is not very extravagant.. but HUMBLING. it's not all Gucci here LV that... it's not how many digits your salary is... it's not how many places you've been to. those are perks, superficial perks. the real blessing is the experience that will forever mold you as an appreciative, non-discriminating, learned individual. And now back to my sinigang-my comfort-the-sick food that i cooked from scratch, inside my hotel room here in Beijing. Life is not always a box of chocolate, it can be sinigang.. the more sour the better.

Welcome Aboard °


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