Mars and pars im vaaaack! gosh it has been a year (well almost) and honestly i miss blogging. i just didn’t have the time and the same leisure. i would rather sleep my worries away than go on my usual word vomit. i am never a fan of negativity and ranting although at times i do indulge (it’s healthy if you do it with the right person), but last year (pause)… last year was too much…(deep breathing) TOO damn MUCH!!! (patting my teary eyes, hoarse voice) that if do the typing (pause) while sharing my inner most anger (im ok.. im ok), my keyboard will explode to pieces (screaming!!!) if not i would not be able to type since the pressure i put on every letter would bury them to the core of my laptop’s circuit board. (deep breathing again) either of the two (pause). now close your eyes and visualize how it would’ve been (in a now more relaxed and composed tone). also i don’t believe in CHARACTER assassination (sarcasm kills). they know me. and people know u. whoever you are. try this exercise called recollection.. you’ll realize there’s a pattern. now you think it’s our fault? nuf said (fiendish smile).
Hello and welcome back to me again! i do sincerely apologize for that. it’s so “white chicks”. my bitch fit. my “i am sooooofreeeakin’ piss” moment.
Things like this happening in my life make me appreciate the people that still are with me and my sister (most especially). Sometimes i think i don’t deserve such but that Guy up there… He loves us all, that He made sure there would always be a balance in the force (very stars wars).
Chise is the most likable person i have ever met. it gets to me at times and it makes me cringe. my friends love her more than me. they do go out with her even without me. she has this childish persona that charms everyone. Chise is ever so thoughtful.. ever so giving. very naive. i hate it. i really hate it. i’m the exact opposite. i don’t usually express myself. i do sometimes shut people down. i am very selfish and i’m easily distracted by her shameless display of “niceness”. im the typical older brother who is always right. and most of the time i don’t like my sister, most of the time i correct her. How can one person be nice and yet not be appreciated by her own sibling? simple mathematical equation. unlike yor friends, u get to choose who you wanna be with. but in case of family, you don’t get to choose. you’re stuck with them whether you like it or not.
In so many aspects of our life, we are astonishingly confused by these choices… most of the time we take those that we like and shove those that we don’t. We whine if we don’t get what we want and brag if we do. we excel, we fail, we laugh and we cry over these choices… most of which are temporary. but through all these, your unchosen family is always with you all the way. even if you don’t really need them.
But honestly, i know i’m lucky coz i have chise. she can be anyone’s friend but she can only be a sister to me. and i do love her and hate her at the same time. we had that kind of relationship eversince. we’re only 2 years apart. from bullying her to give me her extra baon (allowance), to cutting off the telephone line whenever she uses it etc etc. Among the 3 of us, she always has to make the sacrifice for the other to succeed. She remained selfless… no questions asked.
Eversince, she is adored by all. she means no harm. she sticks with her friends… especially in moments where they need her most. .. especially when they are all alone… hapless and trying to survive.
i told you i don’t believe in character assassination. for as long as people know who you are, and how you have been with them, how well you’ve treated them; no matter what the other says, it will all bounce back and reflect on how filthy and disgusting they truly are.
thank you chise. i do appreciate you ALOT.