Meet my alter-ego
Have you ever woken up one Saturday morning staring blankly at your breakfast, pre-occupied with what you will be wearing in the club later that night or whether where your sweetie’s gonna take you for that must have weekend date. Life was very simple then. I used to love Saturdays when I was a kid (now my only fave day are the days I’m off in my roster). Saturday is the only day in the week that I don’t mind waking up early in the morning (yeah, yeah I’m definitely, DEFINITELY not a morning person up until now) as not to miss my favorite cartoons on TV.
I was in retro-mood two weekends back and started surfing youtube and the net. And I found her… my long lost alter-ego… long before I discovered Darna and the Giants, long before I loss my innocence totally, long long long before… I was Adora… I was She-Ra, Princess of Power, defender of the Crystal Castle, the fabulous leader of the rebellion of Etheria, He-man’s twin sister.
She started my fixation to super heroines until now. While my other cousins are trying to bulk like He-man thanks to Milo and/or Ovaltine and fantasizing She-ra with her tight bustier and very skimpy skirt; I was busy glamming up like She-ra with her to die for tiara and fantasizing He-man’s pecs, abs and bi-ceps and how he flexes them ever so often. Hehehe… Mommies watch out for your kiddos. Can you just imagine me with my Curling Iron sword chanting.. “For the Honor of Gay-skull I am She-man!!! (Insert swirling glitter and butterflies) (Insert Back-up Singers: “She-man! She-man! Tententententen… She-man”) Defender ng mga baklush (defender of gays)! Princess of the Grotesque Pasay City Hall! Rebel without a cause! I think Joey de Leon has done this already.
It’s such a treasure finding those things that remind you of your tender years. It’s practically more destressing than any bubble bath that I do. That reminiscent laughter deep down is priceless. Add that to my Christmas wish list, a complete 80’s DVD Cartoon set.
Your Song: No more Heartache Vina
All Cried Out - Allure feat. 112
Only Love - The Braxtons
You are the Universe - Brand New Heavies
Irreplaceable - Beyonce Knowles
Ugly Girl - Fleming and John
I'm not Missing You - Stacie Orrico
Goodbye Heartbreak - Lighthouse Family
To my dearest soul-sister Vina;
Don’t really know what’s going on, I don’t really have a clue. To cheer you up, I thought of these songs especially for you and to all the men we ever loved before. Let them be… let them burn in hell!
2006, Goodbye, So Long, Farewell my Friend-s
It all started with Bob, Imee then Diane, after which came Nat and Luvee. Now before the year ends and before I leave for Manila, another friend, ever so close to my heart is leaving Doha for good.
I first met Samantha in the corridors of my first accommodation. Her very warm smile immediately opened up the bridge to our friendship. Since my birthday was 3 days after we arrived in Doha last March 13, 2004; whatbetter way to get everybody acquainted but to have my first party in this desert paradise (?). She brought me her first oatmeal cookies with a bumble bee pin. Since then, we’ve been so tight and even considered her as my PX-bessie (PX- Filipino slang for imported goods).
Sam, I hope you will not miss my high-cholesterol deep-fried chicken skin that is to blame whenever your skin breaks out. But for sure, I’ll miss the high-blood pressure you give me whenever we really get the chance to TALK. Thanks Sam, for all those lovely memories that made my first days here in Doha really fun. Someday soon, may not be in Shanghai or in Singapore or wherever, but for sure I’ll catch you and will never ever make you wait for me to groom myself again.
Good friends are worth keeping even if distance would be a factor. Love you Sam! All the Luck and Happiness finally… Though it breaks my heart, though you’ve all left me (which is so unfair), it’s time to let go of you… all of you.
Adios Mi Amor
My ode, 3 years in the making, finally it’s done… finally his chapter ends. Finally I’m free.
16th July 2004
A Letter for Charlie
Got up in the morning with the thought of you
A remainder from the dream I had
Tears suddenly flow in my eyes
As I felt emptiness inside
The joy I had while sleeping
Turned into a depressing realization
That you are now… GONE.
Everyday I try not to think of you
Of what happened
Of what we have become
Regrets I have,
Haunting me like a ghost in the night
I welcome the day with a smile
Hiding what I really feel inside
Sometimes I fool myself by hating you
But I end up loathing me more.
Everytime the phone rings,
There’s always a hope that it’s you calling.
More often , I end up with someone
To whom I feed on what they’re feeling on the same ground as me.
Never thought I would feel this way
I was ready but still caght with no defense
Honestly, I know this day would come,
From what happened before
I wish for you to suffer
But why do I suffer more?
Maybe because I love you
And I’m trying hard not to
The pain is indescribable… stressing
Especially now that it’s all coming back to me
I feed on you
I take you as my nourishment
I take refuge from the past
Sadly, I have to begin again with no clue where to start
Another day commencing with my prayed hope.
At the end of it, my awaited rendezvous with you as I slumber.
Kiss you tenderly, hug you and never let go.
Be with you even for just a little while.
17th July 2006
ME that I Hate
YOU That I Used to Love
On my way out
You asked me not to go
I didn’t look back
Instead, I walked away and slammed the door.
Not even a single hint of remorse
Can be seen in my tear-soaked face.
Lost myself in a cave of despair
My only weapon are match sticks flare
Now the bright light outside
Paved my way to soar across the tides.
No time now will ever be wasted on you
On thoughts of anger
On memories good while they lasted
Shame on you for pushing me away
For always treating me this way
For hurting me and numbing me from pain
Shame on me for believing you
For kissing you and hugging you
For ever missing you so much.
Shame on me for the recurring thoughts of you
For writing this because of you
And most of all for loving you too much.
So what’s the deal?
I dunno yet. I have so much in my head that I can’t plan anything. Perhaps, the usual trip to Tagaytay - my refuge in the city, shopping and Grocery galore, Jollibee, Pork and Beans, Pandesal Pork Adobo, Pork sinigang, Pork Barbeque, Pork Sisig, Crispy Pata, Liempo etc. etc… OMG… I don't mind pigging out for 2 weeks as in literally "pigging" out. See you all then!