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Passenger Complain No. 5 - Dear Diary

Don't want to be forever hunted by regret.

Somethings in life, however you try to hold on, however you try to keep it together, however you try to psyche yourself up, are better off not pursuing at all.

Am I over reacting? Am I just being too sensitive? Have I been expecting too much? All these forms a cloud of confusion in my head that hinders me from taking that bold step. I just cannot cross the bridge me being half hearted and all. There's no turning back now. Second chance has been given and yet no lessons were learned from the previous mistake made.

I must learn how to walk blindly, surround myself with no other voice but mine. Never decide with what your thoughts and paranoia are telling you but will do it because your heart tells you so.

I'm fucking sorry for my self, for not really able to express my thoughts, what I really feel, what I want, what hurts me, what makes me cry. It sad to say that I'm fed up. I'm tired.

There goes another chapter of my so-called happy ending. There goes my "I-told-you-so" , my drinking sessions and tongue lashing from friends who thinks that would actually make me feel better. Thank you.

People might think I'm lost again. Wandering ever so clueless. I've been there and that's what you ought to know. I know my way back already.

Take all the pictures away, all the good memories that was. Better keep it real. I'm good. I just need to feel that I'm worth something, that I still matter, that I'm not something you set aside.

In times like this, whoelse can u turn to but yourself and God. I'll be back right after I've cocooned myself away from the shit I'm presently in. It's not the end of the road just a detour.

Tomorrow's another day. Another reason for me to smile.

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