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Chapter 2.2 - Lavatory Grooming

Writer's note: For whatever purpose this may serve, Everything written here are only the opinions and insights of the blogger. He represents no one but himself. Thanks.

Here's a video by Daniel Cirera that got me singing. Very Eamon-ish Fuck You song dedicated to all you bastards/bitches out there.

As my purser often tells us, grooming isn't only about how we touch ourselves up every now and then, nor how we stand and present ourselves to the passengers but also the way cabin cleanliness should be meticulously checked and properly maintained throughout the flight. What people don't know, behind all the glamour are plastic gloves, nauseating disinfectants and lemon air freshners. Yes, after we close the doors, everything is on us. From medical cases to cleaning up the mess you made in the lavatory.

In this time and age, I can't help but be fascinated still that some people have yet to learn "toilet courtesy". It's not like they just invented toilet sinks and bowls yesterday nor is it totally different from those which you have in your respective houses. The same mechanism to apply. You piss/shit, you wipe your ass, flush it, wash your hands and wipe the basin. It's so elementary yet some people still needs to be addressed about this. Well for your sake and ours as well, here are some pointers for review and practical use the next time you board an airplane.

Photo taken from: ACME-Nollmeyer
  1. Never try to tamper the smoke detector. Aside from the penalty and cancellation of your next trip, you can be subjected to skinning without anesthesia imprisonment in case fire should happen due to your smoking addiction (in case we all survive). If you can't manage, drug yourself up or better yet chew it.
  2. Please lock the lavatory door to avoid such inconveniences like us seeing your doodle.
  3. Don't dump the tissues or whatever in the toilet bowl. The flushing is obstructed thus, WE have to unclog it! Waste bins are clearly marked and it's there to serve its purpose.
  4. Doesn't matter if you leave skid marks, but please don't you forget to flush it.
  5. Phlegms are for tissues not a basin ornament. Spread love not germs especially on a "tubed" environment.
  6. Never walk barefoot in the lavatory. I can't assure you it's 100% microbe free. I'm not even sure if it's water you're stepping at.
  7. Wipe the basin after use. Again, you are reminded. There's even a note that says: "As courtesy to the next passenger, please wipe the basin after use." So please, WIPE THE BASIN AFTER YOU USE IT.
  8. As aircraft toilets are unisex, guys, please be considerate of the ladies. Put the toilet seat up then do your thing. Also, make sure you hit the spot and don't hose it to wherever.
  9. If you want to use premium class toilets, buy a premium class ticket. Don't start bitching about the queue behind is a mile long. These things are paid for thus, premium class passengers need not suffer from the pains of holding their bladders. They're privileged.
  10. For whatever reason, please, do ask your friendly flight attendants in case you need assistance. We don't judge people, in fact we do appreciate it much MUCH more. thank you.

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